First off, lemme say happy Fourth of July to everybody.  It’s because of awesome folks who fight for our freedoms every day that we get to write about whatever we want, and today that will be about socks.

I hate socks…

If I could so choose, I wouldn’t wear them. EVER.  Unfortunately with feet like these…

I have no choice but to wear them in order to maintain my membership in society.  That, and I am afraid someone will shoot me and stuff me thinking they captured Bigfoot.

The thing about socks that leaves a bad taste in my mouth…other than the bad taste one of my socks would leave in anyone’s mouth is that they NEVER match up coming out of the laundry.

There are little socks

There are BIG socks

There are white sox (although I’m more of a Cubs fan)

And there are colored socks…(this ain’t mine, I swear!)

And even though there are so many species of socks in our house, 80% of the time you can find two that match!

I admit that I have actually worn this combination before…and I did get looks when my pant legs rode up…

I bet half of the socks I own I have had since college, which means that they are soon to be registered antiques.  I am getting rid of them all.  Then I’m heading to Walmart (as any cultured redneck would do) and I’m getting new socks…and they will all be the same kind.  I guess you could say I’m gonna be stocking stockings so I never have to stalk socks again. (Say that five times fast, why dontcha!)